My hand is quivering..... I am taking a deep breath... It is so difficult for me to share what I am about to say... I think I am an unfit pet owner.. That is the only way I can really describe what I am about to say.
My cat Autumn Rose is the nuttiest little creature you will ever met. She reminds me a lot of myself. She is about 5 years old and quite frankly one of the most beautiful cats to ever walk the face of this earth. She is a seal point Siamese cat with blue-sky eyes.
Ever since I first got Autumn I thought she had the most peculiar mole. It was probably the size of a tic tac (you know the breath mints, my personal favorite was citrus). I thought it was cool. Gave her some personality like Cindy Crawford and Marilyn Monroe. This particular birthmark was situated on her orphus (the location where her kittens would come out).
One day my cousin Victoria came over and said something like of "Oh my god that is so nasty are you going to clean it?"
I didn't know what she was talking about so I asked her. She replied, "She has shit on her orphus, she has a shit covered orphus."
"What are you talking about?" I said. "That's not shit it's a birthmark."
"It's not a fucken birthmark that is shit. That is dried shit on her ass. Get a paper towel and clean it."
Is it possible that for so many years I allowed my cat to roam around my house, frolic in the kitchen, and curl up next to me with a dried piece of shit on her ass? I was in shock.
I decided to prove my cousin wrong. I went to the bathroom and got some toilet paper. My poor cat curled up on my lap not knowing the fate that awaited her. I looked at it up close. It still looked like a mole. I grabbed the toilet paper and clinched what I still believed to be the mole. She made no noise. I began to pull lightly, and she began to meow. I was slightly disturbed as I was not sure if it was cooing from pain or pleasure. I pulled tighter and still nothing. I tried one final tug, and she screeched louder putting her hind legs up. Off came the mole.. It was no mole, but indeed was a dried shit particle. Her flesh was pink.. A sigh of relief on her face. I am telling you this damn shit particle had been on her since I got her.
My poor cat Autumn Rose had been roaming around with me for at least 2 years with a clump of dried shit stuck to her ass, because I thought it was a mole.. I will never forgive myself.
What I have learned from this is that Autumn doesn't know how to wipe her ass. She still gets caca on her punja, and now that I know that it isn't a mole I clean it..
Holy shit, it wasn't a mole it was a shit particle!!!! This was today's treat.. I have since cleaned it, but the one she had for many years was much flatter and didn't stick out. Just another day.
